Last night, I went to our monthly preemie parent support meeting at the hospital where Julianna was born. I go every month and have since she was born. It's always really nice to see the moms we were in the NICU with, talk to the moms who are there now, and basically do a lot of networking to get any advice or help that Julianna might need. These meetings are held just inside the NICU in their family lounge, but you don't actually go into the NICU, where the babies are. I haven't been back there since Julianna was discharged. Last night, I went back there.
I found out yesterday (through FB), that a friend of mine from high school had her baby early. He was born 7 weeks early. I decided that since I would already be at the NICU, I would see if she was there and maybe say hello. She was there, and asked me if I wanted to come back and see Baby M. Of course! And then it got a little weird for me.
I scrubbed in, for the first time in almost 20 months.
I walked though the inner door and followed her to Baby M's room.
And then I peeked through the door to see a little baby in an isolette, and I got choked up.
I wasn't expecting it. I figured it would be easy because I was seeing someone else's baby, it wasn't my baby. But it wasn't easy. And I was flung right back to when it was my baby. And then I took a deep breath and started answering the questions, she and her family had.
It felt good to be able to use my NICU knowledge to help someone else. To explain the monitor, to let her know that Baby M having some brady's is ok, to show her where some things in the NICU are located. More than once she said, "Lindsay's little girl was born at 27 weeks and she is doing good". I am glad that something that once brought us such heartache is helping someone else feel better.
I am terrified that we will be there again come late winter. I had originally set a goal of 34 weeks for this pregnancy. I just wanted to make it to 34 weeks. But last night showed me that I don't want anything less than "full-term" (full-term meaning no NICU stay). I'll be happy as long as I have a healthy little boy, but will be even happier, ecstatic, if he gets to come home when I do.
I am happy to say Baby M is doing fabulous! And I hope he continues to grow and thrive!