Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Wishing for Normal

*This post contains specific pregnancy info, read at your own risk.

I try really hard to not wish for things I cannot have. But in the last 24 hours I couldn't stop wishing I was having a normal pregnancy, one not plagued by the term high-risk and the history that makes it that way, one without all the fears and knowledge that I now have. Yesterday, I started noticing some odd symptoms, called my OB and he pushed my appointment from this coming Friday to today. Now, the symptoms were not horrible and if I was having a normal pregnancy, I probably wouldn't have thought anything of them, but in my case they could mean bad things.

Dr. O was concerned that I may have started dilating (at only 9.5weeks! SCARY!). It is too early to consider a cerclage, so I was naturally terrified. T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D! But after a physical exam that confirmed I was not dilating, and a trip to the ultrasound room to make sure my cervix wasn't thinning, my mind was put to ease (for now).

I did get to see baby, and boy was he/she active! The ultrasound tech had a hard time getting her heart rate because she wouldn't stay still. Today her heart rate was 171 (high because of her crazy aerobics), I not only got to see it on the ultrasound, but could hear it as well. And I could even see her teeny tiny arms and legs flailing about. That was the best part of the whole appointment! I now have 3 more pics of this baby!

DR. O is pretty sure now that my symptoms are a side effect of my progesterone therapy,which I stop in just 2.5 weeks (I can't believe I'm so close to 12 weeks already!). Then lucky me gets to start P17 shots at 16 weeks and continue them, one a week, until 36 weeks. I am also going to have an ultrasound to check my cervix at just about every appointment, and if there are any changes, then I will get a cerclage.

I really wish I didn't have to panic and worry at every little twinge or pain or other unusual symptom. I wish I could be like so many of my friends who are pregnant and just enjoy this pregnancy. I wish this pregnancy could be normal.

1 comment:

  1. How Scary. :( I am glad everything checked out and that the baby is doing well. Of course you wish for normal. It always annoys me when ladies with problem free pregnancy whine and moan because they are almost full term and SO done... They have no idea how lucky they are. I would probably be no better but after watching my friend have 2 early babies(28 and 32 weeks) it changed how I see a lot of things. I have been thinking about you a lot and praying just as much for you and this baby.


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