Thoughts

This morning my cousin's wife commented on my Facebook about how happy she is for me and in her comment she also said she hopes I have been journaling my thoughts throughout all of this.  I haven't.  Other than my updates here (which are mostly medical), I haven't written down any of my thoughts about this journey, or really any of my thoughts about anything.

So, what are some of the thoughts that run through my head?  Here's a few...

*I will beat this cancer...I've never thought differently.

*Chemo sucks...there's no other way to describe it.

*Joe is the most amazing man in the world...he has held our world together and never complained.

*My kids grew up and I missed it...I missed Will as a baby, he was only 8 months old when I was diagnosed and suddenly he's 2 yrs old.  And Julianna is a little person, I swear she isn't even a kid she acts so grown up sometimes.

*My kids have missed out on a good mommy...neither one remembers me before I was sick, all they know is sick mommy.

*I have more friends than I thought...the number of people that came to my benefits and that have helped my family is huge!

*The friends I have are awesome.

*People really are good...I can't believe the number of strangers that have reached out to us in so many ways, from sending me cards to paying for plane tickets.

*I miss ponytails...I thought I wouldn't miss my hair so much, losing it the second time was harder.

*I don't miss bad hair days...throwing a hat on to leave the house is super easy.

*I like being skinny...although I would have preferred a different way to lose the weight

*My family is super duper.

*My sister may really be a super hero.

*Thank goodness for grandmas...I don't know what we would have done without my mom and Joe's mom, their houses are our kids second and third homes.

*Prayers do work...our family can prove it.

*It's ok if Julianna's bow doesn't match her outfit, or if her pants don't match her shirt.

*I like staying home...having nowhere to go for a whole day is nice.

*I love to hear my kids laugh.

*I will beat this cancer...I'll never think differently.