Camera Happy

We have taken a ton of pictures of the kids this week & I wanted to share them.  I'm getting back to my camera happy self :o)

 

This is Will's favorite thing to wear...rubber fire boots, goggles & his Bobcat hat...it's his "football guy" outfit.

 

Will has also become quite the colorer.  He will literally spend hours coloring.  Its the only time he sits still for more than 5 seconds.  He also has to have his tongue sticking out while he colors.

 

I decided to make the kids' Halloween costumes this year.  Julianna was a mushroom and Will was a garden gnome.  Sadly, due to weather they didn't get to go trick-or-treating this year.

 

We had a jammie photo session one night and the kids wanted to make scary faces.  They were hysterical!

 

The kids had one last day of playing in the leaves as Joe cleaned our yard up after the storm this week.  Kids and leaves are so much fun.

 

Morning breakfast faces.

 

We had our Halloween tradition again this year, we carved pumpkins (Will didn't want his carved), roasted pumpkin seeds, made popcorn & watched "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown".  Love, love, love family traditions!

Lots of Pics!

I can't believe it has been almost 2 months since my last post.  I feel so bad for not keeping everyone updated!  To make up for my lack of posts I thought I'd share a few photos we took during that time :o)

 

We bought the kids canvases and let them go to town finger painting them.  Joe & I cut out different shapes and taped them onto the canvas first so when they were done we peeled them off and had very cute pictures.  Will had a tractor and Julianna had a bunch of flower petal shapes.  Both paintings now hang in our family room :o)

 

When I sold all my cloth diapers this summer I kept one for Will's keepsake box (I couldn't get rid of his firetruck diaper!).  He found it one day and insisted on putting it on...over his pajama pants!

 

Julianna loves making faces at people...she's pretty good too.

 

 

Julianna started her 2nd year of pre-school this year.  It is going so much smoother than last year (no crying every morning).  She has a friend that she talked about all summer and was so excited when she went the first day and Molly was there.  She has fun looking for letter of the week objects to take in for show & tell each week, and was so happy to show her daddy that she learned to "Stop, Drop & Roll" last week.

 

This is his Bob the Builder look (he even has all his tolls behind him) :o)

 

 

For Trick-or-Treat at the campground Will was supposed to a 50's guy (to go along with Julianna in a poodle skirt), but instead he became (as he calls himself) "Spikey Will".  Check out that hair!

 

 

Julianna wore a poodle skirt to Trick-or-Treat.  The weather was amazing that day and I rode on the wagon alongside them while they got their candy.

 

While Julianna was at school one day, I got the play-dough out for Will.  It was the first time he had ever played with play-dough at out house and he LOVED all the tools, especially the "pasketti" (translation:spaghetti) maker.

 

Since Julianna did so incredibly well during her root canal, Joe told her she could pick somewhere fun to go for lunch one day...she chose Chuck E Cheese.  The kids had an absolute blast and I purelled whenever I could (we also saw them disinfecting all the game tokens) & there were only 4 other kids there.  It was a lot of fun for the kids, but I don't think we'll be going back anytime soon. ;0)

 

 

I just had to share this next pic...can you guess what is next to Joe's cell phone?  They are carrots.  We planted a great little garden when I was feeling really good at the beginning of summer, then my chemo changed and the garden got neglected.  Of everything we planted we got 1 amazing green pepper, a handful of cherry tomatoes (Will squished quite a few of them) and two teeny tiny carrots.  So what do you do with teeny tiny carrots?  You wash them up and eat them...in a single bite.  They were really sweet!  Julianna wants to plant teeny tiny carrots again next year...haha!

An Emotional Day

I'm having a really rough emotional day today.  I'm having a hard time not thinking about what I "should" be doing. 

I should be playing with my kids...not sitting on the couch while they're at grandma's.
I should be school shopping for Julianna...not getting blood transfusions just so I have enough energy to walk across the room.
I should be grocery shopping & canning the veggies in our very neglected garden...not letting Joe shop & letting veggies go to waste.
I should have kids that have a normal mommy...not listen to Julianna tell me how she wishes I wasn't sick & that I felt better so I could play with her.
I should be going out with friends...not going months & months without seeing any of them.
I should be living a normal life...not dealing with this crappy cancer for almost 2 years now.
I should have a husband who can just be a husband & dad...not my caregiver and everything else.

I want normal again...and not our current "I have cancer" normal.  I want "I'm in remission" normal.  After almost 2 straight years of constant treatments, pain, feeling like crap, missing my kids, and so much more...I am ready for remission.

Lord, I am on this journey for reasons I don't know, and I know you have a plan, please give me strength to continue the journey and reach the amazing destination of remission.

Great Results!

A lot has been happening once again here at our house.  I started a new chemo treatment just over a week ago and the results I've gotten so far are beyond AMAZING!

Just before I started this treatment I was up 2 lumps on my shoulder, 1 in my leg, 1 on my back, 1 on my chest, and 4 on my head.  Just 9 days after starting the new treatment I only have a very small lump on my chest and a small one on my leg left!  WAHOO!  That is truly amazing! 7 of the 9 lumps that had appeared in just a few weeks time are gone after just one treatment!

I am beyond grateful for Dr G and how caring he is.  The new chemo has hit my white blood cells much harder than any other treatments I've had.  They have been at zero for the last 4 days...that means I have no immune system right now.  As a precaution he has been giving me IV antibiotics and he even came into the office on a Saturday to give me a dose (he came in for me & 1 other patient).

My family also held a garage sale this weekend to raise money to help with my medical bills and to say it was a huge success is an understatement.  We had so many people donate items for the sale, and the number of people who came out & shopped was crazy!  There were even several people who said they came to the garage sale last summer that my sister had for us & were glad to see she was doing it again this year.  Joe & I of course greatly appreciate every one's efforts & help.  I don't even know what we would be doing or where we would be right now without the amazing generosity of our family, friends and even strangers.  So thank you to everyone!

I have high hopes for this new chemo treatment, despite its nasty side effects (nausea, vomiting & just plain yucky feeling for several days after treatment) I am confident that it will work and I am going to kick this cancer!

My Little Artists

While searching Pinterest the other day (you know, something I never do...lol) and I cam across a list of 100 things to do this summer with your kids.  Julianna loved the list and we decided every few days we'll pick something from the list to do.  Yesterday, she picked finger painting.  But since I can't do things simply, we went to the craft store and bought the kids each a small canvas and some paint that went with the colors in our family room.

But that's still not the end of my meddling in their finger painting.  Joe cut out a tractor & a barn and taped them onto Will's canvas and I cut out a bunch of different size flower petals from painters tape and arranged them on Julianna's canvas.  Then they got to paint to their heart's content.

Having lots of fun!

Will's painting

Messy, messy, messy

Julianna's painting

Not quite as messy

After just a few minutes of drying we removed the tape & pictures...here's how cute they turned out!

Julianna is looking forward to getting to choose another activity from the list.

New Chemo...Again

After weeks of waiting, I finally have a new treatment plan.  If you hadn't heard yet, my previous chemo had stopped working.  I currently have 7 new lumps that I can actually feel.  My back pain has also returned.  I spent an entire weekend on a morphine pump in order to get the pain under controls and I am again on pretty good size doses of it to keep the pain under control.  So despite my last scan showing such great results things have progressed and very quickly.

Starting next week I will begin a new chemo regimen.  I will be getting topotecan and ifosfimide.  They are both drugs that I haven't had before.  I'm a little nervous just because I'm not sure what to expect as far as side effects go.  But Dr G is optimistic about this combo.  I will have chemo 3 days in a row every 3 weeks.  Prayers are still going up that I can kick the cancer's booty and I have no doubt that I will.

One change I have made to hopefully help reach that goal, is a big change in my diet (well it was a big change) 2 weeks ago, I decided to become a vegetarian.  I was doing really well too ( a few bites of chicken at a wedding...I RSVP'd before changing my diet, and a hot dog at a baseball game...how do you resist that?).  Joe & the kids (well the kids had no choice) decided to make the change with me.  After talking with Dr G (who is apparently very anti-vegetarian)a new decision was made based on me & my actual nutritional needs.  I am going to eat meat occasionally (maybe 1 or 2 times a week), but will continue making the switch to all whole foods.  If you want to follow my journey as far as food goes you can read about it at my other "old" blog, Spoons, Spades & Stitches.

I am really hoping that this new chemo will help me kick the back pain quickly and get me off the pain meds (no driving privileges again) so I can get back to normal.

Julianna and I at the CP picnic and baseball game.

Special Nights Out with the Kiddos

Joe & I have been trying to do more fun things with the kiddos this summer, especially since last summer was such a bust due to my surgery.  So Friday night, Joe took Will to a local truck night.  Will loves big trucks, but even more Will loves tractors and it was lawn tractor tractor pulls.  Needless to say Will had a blast.

Yesterday we took Julianna to the cerebral palsy picnic & minor league baseball game afterwards that's sponsored by the children's hospital where her doctor is.  Erin & Jason went as well and took all 3 of their kids.  The kids all enjoyed playing kiddie carnival games, making crafts & posing in character pictures.

Ellie

Julianna

Ian

Emma

We also stood in line forever because the kids wanted their faces painted...I think it was worth it...look how cute they turned out!

Julianna wanted a butterfly.

 Erin's kids were all tigers.

They all enjoyed the baseball game too.  Julianna had been asking for months when the carnival & baseball game at her "special doctor's" was...now she's asking when the next one is.  Haha!